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SoloMoms! Talk

Could Abandonment Be Influencing Your Decisions?

Published 3 months ago • 2 min read

Dear Reader,

How are you?

Have you ever looked back at a relationship, career move, friendship, or major life decision and wondered, What was I thinking?

I know I have.

Sometimes our choices aren’t made from a place of wisdom, confidence, or clarity. Sometimes they’re made from a place of pain.

One of the most powerful yet often overlooked influences on our decision-making is abandonment.

Abandonment isn’t always physical. It can come through divorce, rejection, neglect, emotional unavailability, loss, or repeated disappointment. Over time, these experiences can leave us believing things that were never true:

• I’m not enough.
• I have to earn love.
• People always leave.
• I can’t trust anyone.

When these beliefs go unchallenged, they begin influencing our decisions without us even realizing it.

Some of us respond by becoming high achievers and people-pleasers. We overwork, overcommit, and seek validation through accomplishments. Deep down, we may be trying to prove our worth or avoid being rejected again.

Others respond by withdrawing. We become fiercely independent, avoid vulnerability, and convince ourselves we don’t need anyone. What begins as protection can eventually keep healing and healthy relationships at a distance.

Unhealed abandonment can also cause us to confuse:

• Attention with love
• Chemistry with compatibility
• Need with connection

As a result, we may overlook or miss red flags, settle for less than God’s best, or remain in relationships that aren’t healthy for us.

The good news is that healing begins with truth.

Instead of believing:

“I am abandoned.”

We can embrace:

“I am chosen.”

Instead of:

“I am unwanted.”

We can declare:

“I am loved.”

And instead of:

“I am alone.”

We can rest in the promise:

“God is with me.”

Hebrews 13:5 reminds us:

Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

Abandonment may explain some of our choices, but it does not have to define our future. The One who stayed determines our identity. Not the one who left.

Today, I invite you to spend a few quiet moments with your journal or a notebook and reflect on these questions:

  1. How has the stigma of abandonment influenced the choices you’ve made in your relationships, career, or personal life?
  2. What is one step you can take today to fully embrace the truth that you are loved, chosen, and never abandoned by God?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Just hit reply and share what came up for you.

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Thank you for being part of this community, and for everything you do for your family every single day.

Remember you're not alone!

Talk soon,

​
​J. Rosemarie Francis​
Host, SoloMoms! Talk​
website: www.solomomstalk.com​
Instagram: @solomomstalk

P.S. I cover abandonment in Day 3 of the Courage to Believe devotional: Loneliness - Releasing the Stigma of Abandonment. The ebook is now available in French, Spanish, German, Italian, Portuguese, and English on the free Kindle app. Grab free sections and audio meditations at: https://solomomstalk.store/b/giveaway​

SoloMoms! Talk Podcast on YouTube

I now post a short daily devotional for quick encouragement in the middle of life’s chaos. Watch videos from solo moms and other guest share tips and strategies, providing support to moms raising their children alone.

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SoloMoms! Talk

J. Rosemarie Francis, Serial Podcast & Mentor

I'm a podcaster, blogger, and coach who loves to talk about health & wellness, lifestyle, and parenting & relationships. Subscribe and join over 500 solo mom newsletter readers every week!

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