Dear Reader,
How are you?
If you’ve read Day 6 of my devotional, Courage to Believe, you already know this story. But it’s a moment that has replayed in my mind because it changed how I view my role as a mother forever.
So I had a long, tough day at work, followed by a brutal two-hour subway commute home. I was exhausted and running entirely in survival mode.
I entered the front door, desperate for a moment of peace. Instead, I walked ‘smack dab’ into my kitchen and was ambushed by a messy, chaotic sink, overflowing with dirty dishes. Down the hall, the familiar sounds of video games echoed throughout the house. My teenagers were completely checked out, wrapped up in their own worlds.
In that split second, my survival brain took over. All the exhaustion, the stress of carrying the weight of the household alone, and the disappointment boiled over.
I lost it. I started yelling. I wanted them to feel the weight of what I was carrying. But halfway through the yelling all of a sudden, I experience this piercing headache. It was so excruciating I didn’t think I’d make it.
And it was then I realized I couldn’t keep doing this. It wasn’t good for me and it definitely wasn’t good for my children.
I realized something heartbreaking: I was spewing out my frustration on my children. I was giving them my hard work, my income, and my energy... but I wasn't giving them my peace. Survival mode had rewired my brain to react out of depletion rather than respond out of love.
Scripture tells us, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Romans 12:2). For a long time, I thought renewing my mind was just something I did on Sunday. But that evening, I realized it has to happen in the messy, frustrating corners of daily life, like a kitchen full of dirty dishes.
Renewing our mind means breaking the generational cycles of reactive anger. It means learning the practical, mental, and emotional tools to regulate our own stress so we can communicate with our children from a place of authority and peace, not exhaustion.
We don't need a degree in psychology to change the atmosphere of our homes. But we do need to dedicate time to our own growth and self-education.
Aside from my daily scripture study, one of the most practical tools I have used to cultivate this inner peace and level up my communication skills is Masterclass.
It sounds simple, but spending just 10 or 15 minutes in the evening (or when I can) learning from world-class experts on emotional intelligence, conflict resolution, and mindfulness completely reframed how I handle stress. Instead of doom-scrolling or letting my mind replay the day's frustrations, I use it to actively train my mind to be the calm anchor my children need.
Investing in your personal growth isn’t selfish, mama. It’s a gift to your children. When you heal and learn to navigate your emotions, you teach them how to do the same.
If you are ready to step out of that reactive survival mode and bring a deeper level of peace into your home, I highly encourage you to check out the series, The Power of Mindset.
You can explore Masterclass and start your own growth mindset journey here. (https://masterclass.pxf.io/c/1979438/2486291/16021). Now 50% off this Memorial Day.
You are doing a beautiful job. Your story isn't over, and your home can be a sanctuary of peace.
Talk soon,
J. Rosemarie Francis
Host, SoloMoms! Talk
website: www.solomomstalk.com
Instagram: @solomomstalk
P.S. Get free tools to help you navigate your parenting journey at https://solomomstalk.store/b/giveaway
SoloMoms! Talk Podcast on YouTube
I now post a short daily devotional for quick encouragement in the middle of life. Watch videos from solo moms and other guest share tips and strategies, providing support to moms raising their children alone.
Quote of the day:
"You're One Decision Away From Changing Your Life"
